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Around the World for Free: with PCL-Cambodia!
Please check out this video to see first hand where we interned all summer. I feel at home when i'm watching it!

Wedding Countdown

Bike Photo

I know the suspense was killing you all! Here's my transportation for the last 2.5 months. I've put many-a-miles on this thing... including 10 miles a day for almost the last 2 weeks. She has been good to me ol' blue. I'll miss you and the roads you took me on and the adventure of a lifetime in Cambodia!

Near the End

I have not done well to keep up with my posts, but I have been journaling daily and I would like to add a few blogs on here when I get a chance to stop and absorb everything that has happened in the last almost 9 weeks. So many: experiences, people, memories, photos, bus rides, bike rides, meals... but in all of this, I know that God has a purpose for me to be here. It has been very difficult for me to be away from home and I've felt very homesick at times (something I wasn't really expecting in myself). But God teaches us so much through even the small things and I really pray that this last week we are here I can find some clarity through everything I have experiences and my time here. In the last month we've had church, VBS, youth camp, tutoring, 3-day vacation in Malaysia, more VBS, a youth follow-up after camp, a Christian wedding because of Youth Camp, had a sleepover at the Orphanage and taught hygiene for the kids from Somaki Village (washed their hair, face, cut nails, brushed teeth and taught about Jesus)! There also has been so much more, but I ask that you pray for us in our final week as we begin to say goodbye to the incredible people that we have met! People for Care and Learning has an amazing ministry here in Cambodia and God is doing amazing things through them. Continue to pray for PCL and that more doors will open for them as they share Christ in a holistic ministry.

God is faithful, and His love endures forever!

Malaysia

Patronas Towers

KL Tower

St. Paul's Church from 1500's, Melaka Malaysia

Overlooking Melaka

Our Quarters at Pondok Lodge

We went to Malaysia from June 23 to June 26. It was quite the adventure. Our guest house (Pondok Lodge) was over a bar - which we didn't realize until night time and they really liked to watch the World Cup until 4 in the morning. We "slept" at the airport Friday night because we had an early flight back and that was really rough. We also learned the public transportation system fairly quickly in Kuala Lumpur. It felt like we were back in the states in NYC or something. Malaysia is primarily a Muslim country, so that was my first encounter with women fully covered to their eyes and with headdresses on, other than in a Mosque. We took a day trip on Thursday to Melaka which was a good pace for us; it was very colonial and on the coast. I felt like I was in South Carolina or Florida or something which made me miss home a lot. We went back to KL and backpacked downtown with all our stuff the entire day because we were going directly to the airport that night and that wore us out real quick. We sat in line for 1.5 hours Friday morning to get a pass to the bridge of the Patronas Towers at 630pm (I think I saw them on Amazing Race). This short and event-filled vacation was good for our team, maybe not relaxing, but good. And, it was great practice for the Amazing Race!!! We went to the movie theater - which was a highlight because there are definitely no theaters here in Cambodia. We saw Karate Kid and Toy Story 3 for like $3 each and they were both great movies! On our way out of KL our last night we saw a robbery first-hand by two guys that rode their moto right next to us...

God's protection was truly over us this trip and we are so grateful to have some free time as a team. We have been doing ministry prep and ministry together since October. I had to talk with 12 men for about 20 min in order to get our Visas renewed when we returned to Cambodia. They were not going to let us renew them until July 5 and I was not going to leave the airport until we all had renewed Visas in our hands. Everything worked out and we got to see a completely different and new culture from what we've been used to these last 2 months.

From John Piper's Blog "Desiring God" by Jonathan Parnell:

In 2 Samuel 10 the Ammonites and Syrians are closing in on Israel. Joab divides up the men of Israel between himself and his brother, Abishai. He tells his strategy in v. 11, paraphrased, “You take those guys, I’ll take these guys, and let’s help one another if we need it.” That sounds simple enough. It’s the next line in v. 12 that is astounding. Joab declares:

Be of good courage, and let us be courageous for our people, and for the cities of our God, and may the LORD do what seems good to him.

Now we can read this and just chalk it up as another indication of Joab's super-manliness. We can picture him on the battlefield arrayed in armor and emanating more fierceness than Gerard Butler and Russell Crowe combined. But that would severely miss it.

Joab can say what he says because I think he knows what it is that “seems good to the LORD.” Remember the LORD’s promise to David in 2 Samuel 7? He told David, “Your house and your kingdom shall be made sure forever before me. Your throne shall be established forever” (7:16).

"What seems good to the LORD" is not “que sera, sera.” "What seems good to the LORD" is rooted in his unfailing faithfulness to fulfill his promises, whether Israel wins every single battle or not. "What seems good to the LORD" is that the house of David will be made sure forever and there will one day be a king on the throne of Israel whose reign will know no boundaries and have no end—King Jesus, the Christ.

I think that Joab knew this promise and that it was the real source of his courage. This is the kind of courage we need: not a blind fearlessness that comes from self-confidence, but a boldness that flows from being overcome by the reality of the gospel and the faithfulness of our God.

What doubts do you have concerning action for the sake of Christ’s Kingdom? What promise can you stand on and declare “may the LORD do what seems good to him”?

Angkor Wat Complex

Monday morning, June 7, around 6am, we watched the sun rise over Angkor Wat... this shot is from between the entrance of the front complex looking at the back complex (I always thought this shot was the outside of the entire complex).


Again, inside of the back complex...


Walking away from the inside of the complex...

What I didn't realize about these temples is that Angkor Wat is the largest of the temples but there are 7 or more different large temple locations... just a taste for you!

My favorite temple because everything was falling over!

We climbed to the top of this one - it was a straight up climb. The steps were insanely scary!

I made it to the top... going down was even harder...

...Our descent

Coolest trees ever! They have grown over this temple everywhere.

What a truly amazing experience to see these structures and to imagine that they were over a thousand years old... I can't even fathom how they were built, especially how they stacked all these huge stones. I really did feel like Indiana Jones!

"Food" For Thought

So today was our last day of VBS in a village called Takam. On our very bumpy and rough drive there, I almost found myself in tears when I was thinking about the way these people live. I felt sorry for them and I was questioning as to why I grew up where I did and with the seemingly luxurious things my family had in comparison to the people here. And I sat there in confusion for a while trying to understand why it is this way. And, why I was feeling guilty for the way of life I have lived... but I think that I was able to come to some sort of conclusion as to why life is this way.

When we look back at America's history to one hundred, even maybe two hundred years ago, I cannot imagine that life was much different from the people that live here in these remote villages. The more I thought about it... It's really just a way of life here. It's not that these people are "lesser" people or "lesser off," because in their world, this is what they know and how they live. I am not trying to say that our worlds are the same, but we all live in a way that is natural in the environment we are in; and that's just what we know. And when I thought about it more, I thought about our concept of time verses God's concept of time. We only look at life from a linear point of view, but God looks at this world from an all-knowing and all-powerful point of view. He can see people from all times, all environments and all ways of life... All we can see is how life has changed and evolved and progressed and as people that are "ahead" in society; but what are we really ahead of? We may understand science more and technology and all that, but that doesn't make the people that live in these remote areas any less human.

All I can really say is that the Lord gave me some sense of peace in accepting the fact that my life is different from these people and I shouldn't feel sorry for them and the way they live, but I can be thankful that I can love them and encounter them and that the Lord loves them so much more than I could ever humanly offer. There is so much we can do to help these people to gain awareness to water-borne diseases and many other things that society has learned over time. There is so much we can help with, but we don't have to change these people. They are beautiful and they do what they can in this life that they know, and maybe over time... they will come to learn more about farming, and science, and technology like we know... but until then, we should not look at these people as less off or ourselves as better off for that matter.



My mind is still trying to process my thoughts... but please, feel free to add your thoughts.

22 min 30 sec

Our professor Dr. Moodley is here for a visit and a time of debriefing during our time here in Cambodia. We gave him our journals yesterday and I felt both relieved and naked without it. We are required to journal daily (about 3-4 pages) as a part of our class requirements. Although it is very difficult to keep up with, I have learned a lot of things about the significance of journaling and spending a significant amount of time with God intimately and daily.

So anyways, without having our journals... I felt like I had so much free time last night and this morning so I started to read Through Painted Deserts by Donald Miller. Mind you, I've had this book for a few years and I have not just had time to sit down and enjoy a book without school stress or something over my head and last night and this morning I finally had time. I'm already almost halfway through and I'd liked to finish it before we get our journals back (which will probably be at some point tomorrow). Anyways, it's basically a descriptive journal log of Don and his friend Paul traveling to Oregon from Houston in a VW van and a few hundred dollars. It's a fantastic perspective and I've just had true and utter joy as I dream adventurously and feel so relaxed to finally just read stress-free.

Well anyways... this book is reminding me the significance of really making every moment of life count and being light-hearted and just seeking joy and adventure in every possibility. So in the midst of this, we were going to the Children's home today to participate in a welcome celebration that the kids presented for us (which was awesome by the way). Matt, the director of the Children's Home could not pick us up with the van so he suggested we get a Tuk Tuk.

First of all, I didn't feel like spending money on a Tuk Tuk and secondly I reminded myself... I have a bike and two feet and hands and a water bottle. So I was able to talk Kristin, my teammate into riding to the Children's Home with me. It really only took me the question to ask her and she was up for the challenge. It's on one of the main roads here where traffic seems much scarier in a car than on a bike (surprisingly). I don't know how far it is, but I timed it on our way back and it took us 22 min, 30 sec. I loved every second of it. I loved the sweat pouring out of my body and the dust blowing in my face and the grit in my teeth. I loved every rattle and clang on my bike and the bumpy dirt road before the Children's Home. I loved feeling the hot sun on my skin and I loved just living the life and being a part of the Khmer culture. So many different smells, so many different people going and coming from so many different places. It was an awesome experience. Now I want to start riding my bike to the Children's Home as often as I can.

I will need to take a picture of my rickety bike! [Insert photo here]It's a beach cruiser-ish road bike with a basket on it. The first few days after I bought it (for $38 with a lock), I had a flat tire and my handlebars got so loose I almost crashed... but I kept riding it for a few days before I got it fixed. We ride our bikes every day and even took an hour bike ride around town on Sunday. I thoroughly enjoy riding my bike. I've always been so afraid or more so nervous to ride on the road in treaffic, but here with the traffic you just have to jump in and go with the flow and ring your bell and hope people hear it. There's always some close calls with a moto cutting you off or someone riding directly at you and you both awkwardly try to figure out which side the other is going to choose... but I love it. I love the freedom and adventure of it. I just want to ride my bike everywhere!!!

But I think so many things lately, while being here, have been teaching me the importance of enjoying life, enjoying opportunities and accepting circumstances and most of all just finding joy in these situations. I had an amazing talk with John Mark this morning about how our relationship has changed and grown in the 5 years we've known each other. The amazing memories, events, places and time we've spent together. In reading this book, I am reminded to ask myself... if my life was a book, would someone want to read it and would they enjoy it? I hope so. What an amazing gift God has given us to experience life. I hope I will live a life that tells a story and most of all, has God alongside each and every part of my adventure called life!

Nearing the end of week 3...

We are already nearing the end of our third week here. It seems like so much has happened and time has both been very fast when I think about it, yet it seems like it’s going slow as well. I have been struggling quite a bit with leaving my fiancé back home. Although we have a long distance relationship, there’s something different knowing that we are on opposite sides of the globe and that we still have 7 weeks of this adventure apart from each other globally left to go. I have to daily pray that my heart is in the right place here because I feel like I’ve left such a huge part of me back at home. But I think that personally this is a growing period for us both to learn so much more about ourselves during this time before we make our vows to spend the rest of our lives together. A lifetime together and 7 more weeks does not seem like a long time in retrospect but while we are in it, it is very difficult.

I am thankful that I can relate with my teammate Delilah and her boyfriend of 1.5 years. Delilah and I had a good chat today as we both have had a difficult time with this, but we are also thankful for what God is teaching us. I know that whenever I really feel like I’m missing John Mark, I can talk with Delilah and we can miss our men together. I’m just so anxious to be in the ministry with John Mark and it is very hard to be patient in the Lord’s timing. God has me here without John Mark for a reason and it’s my daily struggle to learn about God, learn about myself, and the people here and accept that it is the Lord’s will for me here and now.

I have been continuously reminded of Ezekiel 36:22-26 ever since I got on the plane to come here. I actually came across it on the plane, but I really believe God is trying desperately to “give me a new heart and put a new spirit in me… taking my stubborn heart and making it tender and responsive.” Boy oh boy am I stubborn. I find it so hard to rely on other people. I want to just do everything myself because I have difficultly trusting others and being confident in their work. Being a group leader has challenged me to delegate tasks and trust that they will get done. I feel like a failure so many times, but I am constantly reminded of God’s mercy even though I am so undeserving.

We have been painting the youth room at the Children’s home for the last week and a half aside from other things and it is so draining. Mind you, the youth room is the size of most fellowship halls. It’s a very large room and a very large task, but we really pray and feel like this can prompt a new stage in the youth’s relationship with God. There are probably about 40 or more students from the community and the children’s home that meet in this room for a youth service. We are planning a dedication service for the building a week from today. Please pray that this is a turning point in their lives and in their walk with God. These kids have really difficult lives yet it is so beautiful to listen to them worship and pray and I am constantly encouraged by it. They are tempted by so many things I can’t even imagine being in their shoes. But when I see them worship, their hearts are so pure. We want the encourage them to be bold in their faith outside of the walls of their youth room and to live daily in reverence to Christ. What a reminder for all of us. We put two stripes across the room that come together to make a cross and we want to explain to the students that their lives for God are not only in their relationship with him, but their relationship with this world. We’ve spent a lot of time at the children’s home including tutoring and teaching English with them, as well saying good night to them and just loving on them.

Life is so much different here, but I still feel like each and every person in the world is dealing with their own struggles and their own pain but God is so powerful and he gives us tender and responsive hearts that can find joy in all circumstances. It is so hard sometimes, but God is so capable of making this a reality for our lives. This week our professor Dr. Moodley will be here to meet with our team and check on our progress here and at the end of the week we have a two-day seminar to attend. This seminar will help teach us to better understand the psychological side of people and to better teach them accordingly. I think it will be very interesting.
God is also teaching me a lot about listening and discerning his voice. This is something I constantly struggle with - listening. I feel so childish, but God desires us to come to him like children, open to his voice and ready to soak in his every word. This time here is really challenging my relationship with God and forcing me to grow and change in my relationship with our amazing Creator. Psalm 33 has been a great passage to remind me of how awesome and beautiful our Creator is! I suggest you take the time to read it.

I think when we discipline ourselves with time with God and realize that our spirituality is in constant movement and growth, our consistency with God can influence our integrity and character in this world so that we can be used by God in the way he intended for us in this world. I have been challenged to come to God with the same anticipation and excitement that I do when I get to talk to John Mark… what a perspective.

Happy 3rd Birthday Hazyl

Oh sweet Hazyl Grace. Your big blue eyes have been mesmerizing since you were a baby!!



I missed your first birthday because I spent that summer in Brazil. But we got to celebrate your second birthday in Charleston and watch you grow up so fast and begin talking up a storm and really developing quite the personality!!



Speaking of that personality... You are so free spirited and so cool and I just think you are going to be "that" girl that the boys dream of. Oh your poor daddy... You will probably be super athletic and naturally beautiful... you already are!!! Your climbing skills and fearlessness are so incredible.. and that cool style of yours!!!



I love you so much Hazyl Grace and I love watching you and your big sister Daylia Joy grow up. I love how Daylia takes care of you and looks out for you and how much you love spending time with her. You are so sweet Hazyl! Happy 3rd Birthday!!

Love Aunt Rae Rae

To my nephew Josiah Nathaniel

Dear Josiah,
It is hard to even find the words of how your sweet little life impacted me, our family, and so many other people. Josiah, you brought our family so close and really made Charleston home for me. I lived there for 3 years before you came, but now every time I go there I think of you and your very special life.

I thought about going to San Fransisco for an internship the summer you were going to be with us, but I felt that I needed to stay in Charleston, I needed to be with my family, and I needed to spend time with you. Oh your body was so fragile when you were born May 20 2009; especially your heart and lungs, but your beautiful life that day and on answered so many of our prayers.

We spent so many days in your "living room" because you didn't like the outside (plus all those nurses were so cute, who'd want to leave them). Who can blame you? It's such a big world out there. But your door was open to so many people that had an opportunity to meet you. Sometimes I was scared to come near you because I didn't want to make you more sick. I even passed out next to you because you made me wear a plastic cape to see you. But it was worth it. Uncle John Mark and I would spend our date nights just staring at you and rubbing your sweet little forehead. Your little eyebrows would twitch and you'd fall right asleep. We watched your sisters a lot that summer and they always talked about you. We would sit with you and your mommy and daddy and just talk about life.

You gave us so many scares, but you hung on to your fragile life so tightly and we continued to cling to God. We watched your sisters grow up so much and got to know your grandma and grandpa so well. You breathed on your own for some time but your lungs were just not strong enough. Your mommy and daddy decided for you to get a tracheotomy and we got to see those huge chubby cheeks for the first time!!! You look so much like your mommy and daddy and sisters.

Little Josiah, your mommy and daddy and so many other people love you so much. Your parents did everything they could to help you and help other babies and kids with HLHS. Because of your mommy's research, you and other babies like you can have their mommy's skimmed breast milk in the MUSC PCICU. You challenged the Dr's and nurses at MUSC to do their best work and learn so much more about babies like you. Your blog and twitters have been seen all over and your papa's sign's got you an article in the Greenville news. But most of all Josiah, you taught us how to love. How to treasure each day and each moment, because we didn't know if there would be a tomorrow with you. You taught us the importance of family and community and so much about prayer and about God. You have left us with some questions.. especially as to why God would take you home, but you have helped us to trust and know that God knows best for each and every situation. It was and is so hard that you are not here with us, but the memories of you are so beautiful. Your sweet and scary and wonderful 8 months with us has probably impacted so many more people than I have in the 23 years I've been alive. You have reminded us that all people have something they are dealing with in their lives and that it is so important to treat everyone with love. Because who knows if the person next door has lost a loved one, just like we lost you.

Your memorial service was such a beautiful evening of worship. Your daddy sang songs and even made us clap our hands to God. We watched videos of you smiling and getting your chest therapy and so many handsome pictures of you. Your smile and sweet cheeks will forever be in my memories. We will never forget you Josiah and the wonderful story God created in you. You may have been born with half a heart, but that precious little heart is the biggest most pure heart I have ever known. Your story brought us to so many people and friends and family and God has taken your heart and made it whole. Happy first birthday Josiah. We miss you dearly but have the faith and hope that we will see you again, perfect and no longer broken. Love you little cowboy.



Aunt Rae Rae

Your wonderful story: www.thewilsonheart.com

It has already been a week here in Siem Reap

We have been here one week and we have already been involved in many things. Our director Julie does an amazing job of giving us a variety of opportunities to minister and spend time with the people here. Since we have been here, I have slept a lot (the first 4 days at least from jet-leg), showered a lot, journaled a lot, blown my nose a lot, washed my hands a lot, sweat a lot and plenty more :)

But ministry wise, we jumped in our second full day here and presented VBS to the kids at the children's home and some of the locals Thursday through Saturday. There were probably about 50 or 60 kids there each day and it was really great. Our theme is FAITH, HOPE and LOVE with the theme verse of 1 John 4:19 "We love because he first loved us". We have spent a good amount of time at the children's home and will be there a lot our time here.

We have had some time to explore, ride in a Tuk Tuk, and we even bought our own bikes and locks for $38. My handle bars have already come loose and my rear tire is almost flat so it will be a good idea to have a bit a maintenance done with it. If you understood the traffic here, you may be afraid for our lives. But the only way I can describe it is a beautiful chaos. There is only one or 2 main intersections that have a light (the rest is each man for himself)and there is 30 seconds for adjacent traffic to go in any direction it seems. The beautiful part is that everyone really is aware and yields to everyone else... but it's crazy; people honk, ring bells, squeak horns and drive wherever, whenever. No tickets for j-walking here people.

Sunday morning we had a service at Common Grounds, PCL's coffee house with some of the Khmer staff and PCL staff and Corey gave the devotional and Sunday night we were back at the children's home for a youth service. The students led the service and Thorston (our German friend and his wife Doreen are here for 4 months) preached.

Monday morning 13 of us: Khmer, Americans, & Germans left for a 1.5 hour bus ride to a remote village called Conpong Cheong (something like that) to distribute water filters and explain the importance of clean water. PCL has built a small health facility there. These water filters should provide each family water for a year and we probably handed out over 100. It was a shock to observe the lifestyle in the remote villages. This really was the first time that I have ever been outside of a city, in the middle of nowhere seeing people live in rickety homes and huts, with a chief over their community, and doing farm and crop work by hand. Almost all the homes are built up for monsoon season. But most of the open land we saw will be water in about a month or so. I will have to elaborate on all of this more! I grew up on a farm, and it's really crazy to see farming still done like it was probably thousands of years ago! I mean, I know it is real, but this became real to me being able to see it in person.

We had VBS planned for this week but the road to Takam is being worked on so we cannot travel there. So, we decided to renovate the youth service room at the children's home so they can really have a new environment for their youth services. I think that this is a really huge task, but it will be an asset for the children's home and the local youth. There were probably about 40 students there on Sunday night. Today we scrubbed and bleached the walls and hopefully tomorrow we can begin priming and painting.

A few of our interns are also teaching English with PCL and a few of us will be working with some of the kids at the children's home one-on-one. I will be doing one-on-one tutoring because I am not confident teaching a class without curriculum. But, that is something that I should work on. Also, Matt - the director at the children's home has asked us to spend the evening there helping the students with their English and homework, leading devotions as well as putting the kids to bed. Matt is really excited that the 4 of us girls can be there because he is not able to "mother" the girls at the children's home... so we have the opportunity to take on that role. We will be tucking them in and praying with them at night and reminding them to brush their teeth. Good mothering skills.

Well, we are about to head to the children's home now. Oh, there's so many details I've missed. I was reminded today that God really knows what we need and does not focus on what we want. I believe that this experience is going to be way beyond what I imagined. I will be honest. I came here with a hardened heart. I felt closed off toward the people, the ministry, the opportunity... because this was not the place I personally wanted to be. I felt like it wasn't going to equip me the best way for the urban ministry that I am passionate about. But honestly, in just a week God has changed my heart - first I had to accept the fact that I closed myself off - and God is helping me to grasp that His plans far beyond I could ever imagine. I am grateful for His goodness and mercy - even in the times that I am unwilling to accept and furthermore, so undeserving.

Thank you all for your prayers.
I am so much in the process of being changed in so many ways.

Thank you skype - for you have made this easier for me and my man!! Miss you JM!

“We need Your Presence”

My team member Delilah sent me this video in an email over Easter break as we were very overwhelmed with school and preparing for this trip. I never watched the video until tonight and I found myself in tears in my longing for the presence of God and His direction and guidance for this trip. It’s just a few simple phrases but it truly is a beautiful song that I pray will be in my heart throughout this trip. Oh, how we need the Lord’s presence to sustain us, to guide us and to make us alive and find rest in him. How beautiful is the presence of God… whether we feel like we need it or we fail to recognize it, God desires to be present in our lives.

2 Chronicles 16:9a – “The eyes of the Lord search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him…”

Not only do we desire the presence of the Lord, but the Lord desires our presence and commitment to him. He wants to use us to do his work and he searches for those most willing so that he can do a mighty work in and through us. Lord, may I be willing and committed to you. Even when it’s hard, even when i’m thousands of miles from home, Lord your presence sustains and is alive in me and you will help me to grow and breathe new life each morning. I need your presence God, because without you I am lost, I am weary…

“As the deer pants for the water and the baby longs to be fed, So I am in need of, in need of your presence. I need your presence, we need your presence. Like water to our souls, we need your presence…

Something inside us is coming alive as we stand in the place where you are. Something inside us is coming alive as we see you for who you are.”

Psalm 40

Thank you Lord for your presence.

We made it to Siem Reap, Cambodia!

We made it safe and sound. It was definitely a long trip and I feel drained and weak and my stomach is unsettled, but I am so thankful that we made it. Apparently it is the hottest here in Siem Reap since like 1890. We got off the plane at 1030pm last night and as soon as we walked off the plane the humidity and heat hit like a ton of bricks. I think it was 90 but way humid. Thankfully we have AC in our guest house. I think we would melt if we didn’t!! So the 4 of us girls are staying in a guest house about an 8 minute walk from everything that we’ll be working at, but thankfully this morning we are getting picked up by one of the workers Matt.

It probably wasn’t until 2 or 3am that we finally went to bed and I slept till about 6am and stayed in bed till 640. Hopefully we will get caught up on sleep soon because right now I feel kind of like a zombie or just out of whack – guess that’s part of jet-leg. We were in the air for 22 hours I think. I got up Monday morning at 3am (went to bed at 1am) – we didn’t see the night on Monday night and went to bed at 3 this Wednesday morning… and it’s all kinda of just making me feel really yucky.

We are going to start our day today at 10am probably to have like an orientation and go over everything that we’re doing this summer. It will be nice to see everything because it was dark out when we got here. So it will all be cool to see today.

Well, thanks for your prayers! We arrived safely and we are ready to begin this journey!!

God Bless,

Rahel Marie

Today is the Day!

Wow, I cannot believe that today is actually here. This past semester has truly been the most difficult yet as we have been preparing continuously for this trip to Cambodia. There were times that I did not think I was going to make it through the semester, let alone pass… but I worked diligently and kept up with everything and was able to pull through with a 3.625 gpa for the semester. After this internship this summer, I have one semester left. I never thought I’d see that day coming either, but it is in the near future.

I feel very anxious and excited for this trip and I know that God has big plans for me as an individual, our team, the ministry of PCL and the people of Cambodia. We have worked very hard to prepare for all of this but most importantly it is our desire to seek after God’s heart for these people and for his wisdom and discernment as we embark on this mission. What is my mission? I want to build relationships and be a living example of Christ in the flesh in that my actions, words, and attitude speak so loud of Christ’s love that without even being able to speak the language, those that I encounter have an opportunity to truly encounter God and experience his amazing grace and love. I pray that I am daily growing, seeking, trusting, and encountering God so that everything that I am is overflowing and pouring out the one and only “I AM.” I love the title of Louis Giglio’s book: I am not, but I know I AM. I pray that while in Cambodia, everything that happens I will recognize I AM and give all the glory and honor to God.

I often struggle with being prideful (even if its not in my actions, mostly in my thoughts) and I pray that I will grow this summer in humility and a servant’s heart – please pray with me.

I will be stretched, confused, excited, overwhelmed, amazed, and so many other things this summer and I know that through everything, God is with me and I want to trust him through every experience and feeling I encounter.

Thank you again to everyone for your financial support and prayers. I pray that in this 10 weeks, you will also be challenged and encouraged and grow in Christ. I will do my best to keep you updated, for this will truly be an experience that will be with me for a lifetime.

It is time for a new stage of life to begin, I am ready now… my cup is empty and ready to be filled with what God wants to teach me through this experience and his people.

1 John 4:19

A Few Shout Outs

Well, it is obvious that I am quite the amateur when it comes to my blog and I wanted to show you a few blogs that have encouraged me to step up my game and get active in the blog world. These are two amazing and encouraging women that I’ve had the privilege of knowing and befriending. They are two both beautiful women, each newly married, creative, and they love the Lord. Their blogs make me even more excited to enter into the new stage of married life in 8 months (still seems like forever away) as well as sharing my heart and passion for the Lord with those around me!!! Here’s to you ladies:

Sarah

and Chelsie!

Minus 2

Well, it is official. The clinic will not approve Lydia for our trip to Cambodia, so my professor will be setting up an internship in the US for Lydia and Everaldo. That leaves our team, a team of 5. Although it is very upsetting and we truly have bonded as a team this past semester, I believe that it is probably better for both Lydia and their baby to not be spending her 2nd trimester in Cambodia. That is a high risk. So please, keep praying for our team as we try to revamp some of our plans and we dwindle into a team of 5. We cannot forget that God is with us not matter how big or small our team; He will do His work through us.

Also please continue to pray for our team members individually. We are all dealing with some very trying issues both in school and personally.

For me, this semester is really racking my brain. I have spent the last 2 days writing a 15+ page paper and I have several papers (with an exegetical paper for the weekend), and a case study project that I am working on, on top of my other classwork. I have spent all of my free time at my computer doing work when I am not in class and it’s really getting to me. Thank you so much. I know that I can push through it all, but I feel very drained and not as focused as I want to be in preparation for Cambodia. There is a lot on my mind and only a month left to get everything together.

Also, we are waiting on our VISAs to come back. Sooner better than later would be wonderful

Cambodia Prayer.

I know that I have not been very diligent with this blog, but I still plan to keep up with it while in Cambodia.

I just wanted to thank everyone for your support for you have helped me to raise the $5000 that I needed for this trip. That is a huge answer to prayer. When it comes to finances I am a very stressed and weary person and God knew that, so He totally took care of me by encouraging you all to help me raise these funds. I have not been stressed at all about Cambodia finances this semester and I am so grateful. For everything else that I have been stressed about, finances is not one that I would have handled well, so again, Thank you all so much! God is so good.

But as far as the rest of my team… Please pray that all the finances come in for my team members and also, please be praying for them by name: Lydia & Everaldo (they found out they were pregnant about a month ago), Corey, GraceAnne, Kristin, and Delilah. Each of us individually have our own needs, so please keep us all in your prayers. Especially Lydia and Everaldo. Yesterday evening, our Department called Lydia informing her that the health clinic would not approve her for this trip because of her pregnancy. She had to put off her internship last summer due to other circumstances, so this is the second time she has heard that she cannot go. She is supposed to graduate when we return from the trip, so pray that if it is God’s will for her to be on this trip (which she and Everaldo feel very strong about) that the doors will open so that she can be cleared to go. This puts a lot of stress on our team as we are just a month away from our departure, but right now we have faith that she is still supposed to be going, so please Pray!!

Again, I appreciate you all for you prayers and will try my best to keep you updated. This is has been my most difficult and trying semester yet and I am just trying to push through. We only have just over 2 weeks of actual classes left, which seems crazy. I am blessed beyond words for an amazing fiancé who has done his best to encourage me through all of this, as well as an awesome family and in-laws. God is good. All the time.

Mother Teresa’s Philosophy of Life

Life is an opportunity, avail it.
Life is a beauty, admire it.
Life is bliss, taste it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is costly, care for it.
Life is a wealth. Keep it.
Life is love, enjoy it.
Life is a mystery, know it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, brace it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is life, save it!
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.

Today I am Inspired by “The Cherry Tree”

Worship:

“Worship is the submission of all or nature to God. It is the quickening of conscience by His holiness, nourishment of mind by His truth, purifying of imagination by His beauty, opening of the heart to His love, and submission of will to His purpose. All this gathered up in adoration is the greatest of all expressions of which we are capable.”
~William Temple

We set a date, so don’t be late!

Forgotten God Chapter 2

Chapter 2: What are you afraid of?

“Focus on believing the promises given to us by God, on submitting to Him the fears that we have, and on surrendering ourselves fully to the work and will of God, the Holy Spirit.”

This chapter hits hard to my heart and my cry spiritually. In being completely vulnerable, I want to elaborate a little more on my current struggle with my faith. It has been nearly a year now that I have been on a seemingly flat line in my spiritual walk with God. I haven’t fallen away from God; I just feel like I have just fallen into a state of neither highs nor lows and therefore have found little growth as a Christian.

In thinking back, I realize the problem is my failure to make an effort to grow more; not because I don’t want to, rather a sense of idleness and inconsistency in my relationship with him. I have not challenged myself to search God at a level that is challenging me spiritually. I definitely am challenged scholarly on a daily basis, and emotionally, but I recognize I have for some reason been reluctant to go further in my personal walk with God. As I am writing this, I can see that there are so many things that are surely happening to me that I am failing to recognize as an opportunity for spiritual growth.

A few questions that Chan asks to consider: What if I pray for the Holy Spirit and nothing happens? What fears do I have about the Holy Spirit?

I feel as though these two questions are in direct relation to my current spiritual struggle. I am at a point where I feel so extremely distant from God that I do not even know how to pray anymore. I pray for the Lord’s direction and I feel as though I am failing to see or hear it. What fears do I have about the Holy Spirit? I think that currently my fear has been insignificance. I feel as though my failure to be consistent with God has caused me to be distant from hearing his word. But Chan makes a completely eye-opening statement: imagine how much it pains God to see his children hold back from relationship with the Holy Spirit out of fear that He won’t come through. Am I holding back in fear that he won’t come through? I don’t feel that that’s the reason I may be “holding back,” but, I do recognize I am holding back in fear that I am not able to hear his word. I can only imagine how much I am hurting God.

I just really want to grow and learn to be so tuned in God that I can learn to trust him in doing something I don’t want to do. That’s a really hard statement. I want to grow deeper in my relationship with God and at this point I believe that it will happen if I seek the word and study about the Holy Spirit. I feel that I really have not sought out an answer and understanding on a personal degree; just me and God, and I am ready to do that. Ready to set my presuppositions aside.

Another question Chan asks: Do you have enough humility to be open to the possibility that you have been wrong in your understanding of the Spirit? Don’t let your views be determined by a particular denomination or by what you’ve always been told.

Therefore, it’s time for me to seek out what God said about His Spirit. God desires to empower us through the Holy Spirit. It’s time for me to pray confidently for what God has promised. I understand that this may be a difficult, painful process that strips me of selfishness, pride, and fear; this was never meant to be easy. I believe it will be rewarding to my relationship with God.

As Chan says: Release the grip of control on my life and decide to be led. –Yikes!!!

Can you say… overwhelmed?

Well friends, I am officially overwhelmed and found myself in tears today after I tried to organize myself and my work for the next 4 months. I think this will be my hardest and busiest semester ever. I guess that’s what happens nearing a summer in Cambodia, graduation and marriage. I know that I will get through it but sometimes I am in awe in the fact that I am trying to get through school, planning an internship, graduation and my wedding all in this year. I am so grateful to be at this stage in my life and feel as though I am capable of getting through everything without too many huge melt-downs (there will always be a few), but I know that this will probably be one of the most significant years in my life and for sure so far. I really have to learn to trust the Lord, stay motivated, and avoid procrastination through all of this. But all of it is truly an incredible opportunity. I want you to read the email I received today in expectations for planning and leading my internship to Cambodia. I really don’t even know where to begin with all this…

Please pray for me and this work load. Thanks so much,

Rahel

(From our director Julie in Cambodia)

I have created a rather tentative schedule for the interns’ ten weeks. Not knowing their strengths and giftedness I have created a rather generic itinerary, knowing that there is a high probability of rewrites. I also didn’t know if you or another professor would be coming in mid-June to visit them and when they would take their break. So, all of these things need to be worked into the schedule.

There are several events/activities that they need to begin planning:

1) VBS–vacation Bible school–this will be a three-day format for four hours each day. They need to write the curriculum and create at least 2 levels of lessons for younger and older students. They must create a theme, lessons, crafts, songs, application, etc. This VBS will be recreated at least 3 times. There are three seperate sites for this VBS: Takam, Somaki, and Tonlesap. They will recreate the VBS from start to finish and the previously mentioned sites. They need to plan for 80 – 100 kids.

2) Every Thursday they will be responsible for Community Day at our children’s home. This is an outreach to the children of the community which includes singing, devotions, activities, and a feeding program. This is for 2 hours.

3) Every Tuesday they will help me with a church plant in the village of Takam. Some will alternate preaching to adults and others will teach SS lessons to children. (very basic)

4) For four weeks I will be giving them an English Intensive to teach. The interns will pair up and each pair will teach one class. Each class will meet 3 times a week for an 1 1/2 hours.

5) Every Sunday they will assist with Youth Group, teaching Sunday School, and preaching. They will need to prepare sermons, sunday school lessons, and discipleship lessons for youth and young adults.

6) We have scheduled a Youth Lockin for one weekend. They will be responsible for organizing this event. I have the curriculum for this.

7) In June we are busy with varying teams and there are several events. One is Youth Camp. The role of the interns will be counselors. The other event is Media Camp–they may or may not have a role in this event.

They will be very involved in a new ministry at the Somaki market and helping us establish that. I can’t pinpoint that on a calendar because we are in the process of starting this ministry.

On the calendar July is fairly empty, but that is because I realized I did not fit in a vacation nor did I leave space for a visit from faculty.

There is an opportunity for a Home Village Stay if anyone wants to rough it for a few days and live in a village and have a more authentic experience.

Wow!!

I came back to Lee this semester nervous, refreshed, excited, overwhelmed, stressed… etc. and feel like this list could just continue on. But, I just have to say how amazed and grateful I am at the response of those who have sent and handed me support for my internship in Cambodia. I came to tears as I opened my mail from those who have graciously sent support to aid me in this incredible opportunity. God has widened my eyes and heart and totally reminded me that he is our provider and that he has placed a desire on your hearts to help me in this opportunity that is so dear to me and my call as a believer. Tonight is the first meeting for the leaders in the internships to Brasil, South Africa and myself in Cambodia. The reality of it all is really beginning to press on me heavily, but I am truly excited to take part in this awesome experience. Please continue to pray as we are beginning a strenuous preparation process and will be purchasing our tickets soon. I trust that God has full control of this opportunity and pray that we will willingly respond according to his call.

Again, my words cannot express my thanks and gratitude to you all.

Thank you!!

You have provided 2,090 of 5,000! Wow! God is good. Thanks.

Forgotten God Chapter 1

Sometimes it takes a lot of reiteration for us to grasp something we’ve heard for years and something that seems as though it has been obvious for so long. But Francis Chan really hits the nail on the head in this first chapter of Forgotten God when he challenges his readers to focus on the significance of the Holy Spirit. He explains that Jesus explained to his disciples that he would send a Counselor, just like Christ (as in, the same essence, same being, same capacity) to come. In John 16:7 Jesus explains that “it is for your good that I am going away” because that way the Counselor (Holy Spirit) would be sent.

So often I find myself wishing I lived in the times of Christ so that I can experience first hand the presence and teachings of Jesus, but I have failed to acknowledge that same powerful and merciful work that is available in the Holy Spirit; the being I believe to be alive and at work in me. So often I have failed to expect and appreciate the Holy Spirit, and for that, I have missed out on the most precious part of following Christ, that bond of Spirit to Spirit. Christ claimed that it was better that the Counselor come. Boy, how I have failed to accept that. It is not that the God is not working through his Spirit in me; it is that I have ignored to recognize his presence in me. I have failed to listen, failed to trust, and failed to acknowledge significant promptings. I have been struggling for quite some time now with a spiritual distance from God and all so purely, it is obvious I am at fault.

When Christ is speaking to his disciples in Mark 4:24 he states: “Pay close attention to what you hear. The closer you listen, the more understanding you will be given” … “But for those who are not listening, even what little understanding they have will be taken away from them.” This is when they were questioning the meaning of the parable of the four soils. When I read this, I feel like so often I am not listening. I am talking, I am frustrated, I am crying to God that I may be close to him, but really… Am I listening? Am I recognizing his work?

This is a problem with the church today. Are these churches really encouraging their believers to listen to the Spirit and be at one with the Spirit, or are we worried about a gathering place that is appealing and bringing in people? Are people leaving the doors being challenged by the Spirit and challenged to communicate daily and in-the-moment with the Counselor? It is so easy to get caught up in the “prettiness” of the presence of the church, but our priority should be getting caught up in the presence of the Spirit.

The Spirit is dwelling within those that believe, but can you tell? Are believers really any different from society? Rather than being so consumed and ignited by the Spirit whom is dwelling in us, so often we chose to allow ourselves to be swallowed up in the path of acceptance from society or the complete opposite… we judge and expect society to be just like our often, unfortunate hypocritical selves.

That puts the church (those that believe, Not a building) at a very difficult position. But like Chan is convicted, it first comes down to our own personal relationship with God, who is alive and dwelling within. Chan states: “We would expect our new life with the Holy Spirit to look radically different from our old life without him.” In order to do so, it is critical to study the word and rid ourselves of any preconceived ideas about God and allow him to teach us as we listen to him. We can go into deeper communion with the Spirit and experience his power and presence, if we choose to listen and stop ignoring.

I know that I am tired of holding back. I want to grow and listen and find more understanding. I am not trying to be Negative Nancy or preach what I am sure is so obvious to most, but honestly… have we failed to truly recognize his living Spirit? This all may seem so elementary, but oh so refreshing.