Nearing the end of week 3...

We are already nearing the end of our third week here. It seems like so much has happened and time has both been very fast when I think about it, yet it seems like it’s going slow as well. I have been struggling quite a bit with leaving my fiancé back home. Although we have a long distance relationship, there’s something different knowing that we are on opposite sides of the globe and that we still have 7 weeks of this adventure apart from each other globally left to go. I have to daily pray that my heart is in the right place here because I feel like I’ve left such a huge part of me back at home. But I think that personally this is a growing period for us both to learn so much more about ourselves during this time before we make our vows to spend the rest of our lives together. A lifetime together and 7 more weeks does not seem like a long time in retrospect but while we are in it, it is very difficult.

I am thankful that I can relate with my teammate Delilah and her boyfriend of 1.5 years. Delilah and I had a good chat today as we both have had a difficult time with this, but we are also thankful for what God is teaching us. I know that whenever I really feel like I’m missing John Mark, I can talk with Delilah and we can miss our men together. I’m just so anxious to be in the ministry with John Mark and it is very hard to be patient in the Lord’s timing. God has me here without John Mark for a reason and it’s my daily struggle to learn about God, learn about myself, and the people here and accept that it is the Lord’s will for me here and now.

I have been continuously reminded of Ezekiel 36:22-26 ever since I got on the plane to come here. I actually came across it on the plane, but I really believe God is trying desperately to “give me a new heart and put a new spirit in me… taking my stubborn heart and making it tender and responsive.” Boy oh boy am I stubborn. I find it so hard to rely on other people. I want to just do everything myself because I have difficultly trusting others and being confident in their work. Being a group leader has challenged me to delegate tasks and trust that they will get done. I feel like a failure so many times, but I am constantly reminded of God’s mercy even though I am so undeserving.

We have been painting the youth room at the Children’s home for the last week and a half aside from other things and it is so draining. Mind you, the youth room is the size of most fellowship halls. It’s a very large room and a very large task, but we really pray and feel like this can prompt a new stage in the youth’s relationship with God. There are probably about 40 or more students from the community and the children’s home that meet in this room for a youth service. We are planning a dedication service for the building a week from today. Please pray that this is a turning point in their lives and in their walk with God. These kids have really difficult lives yet it is so beautiful to listen to them worship and pray and I am constantly encouraged by it. They are tempted by so many things I can’t even imagine being in their shoes. But when I see them worship, their hearts are so pure. We want the encourage them to be bold in their faith outside of the walls of their youth room and to live daily in reverence to Christ. What a reminder for all of us. We put two stripes across the room that come together to make a cross and we want to explain to the students that their lives for God are not only in their relationship with him, but their relationship with this world. We’ve spent a lot of time at the children’s home including tutoring and teaching English with them, as well saying good night to them and just loving on them.

Life is so much different here, but I still feel like each and every person in the world is dealing with their own struggles and their own pain but God is so powerful and he gives us tender and responsive hearts that can find joy in all circumstances. It is so hard sometimes, but God is so capable of making this a reality for our lives. This week our professor Dr. Moodley will be here to meet with our team and check on our progress here and at the end of the week we have a two-day seminar to attend. This seminar will help teach us to better understand the psychological side of people and to better teach them accordingly. I think it will be very interesting.
God is also teaching me a lot about listening and discerning his voice. This is something I constantly struggle with - listening. I feel so childish, but God desires us to come to him like children, open to his voice and ready to soak in his every word. This time here is really challenging my relationship with God and forcing me to grow and change in my relationship with our amazing Creator. Psalm 33 has been a great passage to remind me of how awesome and beautiful our Creator is! I suggest you take the time to read it.

I think when we discipline ourselves with time with God and realize that our spirituality is in constant movement and growth, our consistency with God can influence our integrity and character in this world so that we can be used by God in the way he intended for us in this world. I have been challenged to come to God with the same anticipation and excitement that I do when I get to talk to John Mark… what a perspective.

Happy 3rd Birthday Hazyl

Oh sweet Hazyl Grace. Your big blue eyes have been mesmerizing since you were a baby!!



I missed your first birthday because I spent that summer in Brazil. But we got to celebrate your second birthday in Charleston and watch you grow up so fast and begin talking up a storm and really developing quite the personality!!



Speaking of that personality... You are so free spirited and so cool and I just think you are going to be "that" girl that the boys dream of. Oh your poor daddy... You will probably be super athletic and naturally beautiful... you already are!!! Your climbing skills and fearlessness are so incredible.. and that cool style of yours!!!



I love you so much Hazyl Grace and I love watching you and your big sister Daylia Joy grow up. I love how Daylia takes care of you and looks out for you and how much you love spending time with her. You are so sweet Hazyl! Happy 3rd Birthday!!

Love Aunt Rae Rae

To my nephew Josiah Nathaniel

Dear Josiah,
It is hard to even find the words of how your sweet little life impacted me, our family, and so many other people. Josiah, you brought our family so close and really made Charleston home for me. I lived there for 3 years before you came, but now every time I go there I think of you and your very special life.

I thought about going to San Fransisco for an internship the summer you were going to be with us, but I felt that I needed to stay in Charleston, I needed to be with my family, and I needed to spend time with you. Oh your body was so fragile when you were born May 20 2009; especially your heart and lungs, but your beautiful life that day and on answered so many of our prayers.

We spent so many days in your "living room" because you didn't like the outside (plus all those nurses were so cute, who'd want to leave them). Who can blame you? It's such a big world out there. But your door was open to so many people that had an opportunity to meet you. Sometimes I was scared to come near you because I didn't want to make you more sick. I even passed out next to you because you made me wear a plastic cape to see you. But it was worth it. Uncle John Mark and I would spend our date nights just staring at you and rubbing your sweet little forehead. Your little eyebrows would twitch and you'd fall right asleep. We watched your sisters a lot that summer and they always talked about you. We would sit with you and your mommy and daddy and just talk about life.

You gave us so many scares, but you hung on to your fragile life so tightly and we continued to cling to God. We watched your sisters grow up so much and got to know your grandma and grandpa so well. You breathed on your own for some time but your lungs were just not strong enough. Your mommy and daddy decided for you to get a tracheotomy and we got to see those huge chubby cheeks for the first time!!! You look so much like your mommy and daddy and sisters.

Little Josiah, your mommy and daddy and so many other people love you so much. Your parents did everything they could to help you and help other babies and kids with HLHS. Because of your mommy's research, you and other babies like you can have their mommy's skimmed breast milk in the MUSC PCICU. You challenged the Dr's and nurses at MUSC to do their best work and learn so much more about babies like you. Your blog and twitters have been seen all over and your papa's sign's got you an article in the Greenville news. But most of all Josiah, you taught us how to love. How to treasure each day and each moment, because we didn't know if there would be a tomorrow with you. You taught us the importance of family and community and so much about prayer and about God. You have left us with some questions.. especially as to why God would take you home, but you have helped us to trust and know that God knows best for each and every situation. It was and is so hard that you are not here with us, but the memories of you are so beautiful. Your sweet and scary and wonderful 8 months with us has probably impacted so many more people than I have in the 23 years I've been alive. You have reminded us that all people have something they are dealing with in their lives and that it is so important to treat everyone with love. Because who knows if the person next door has lost a loved one, just like we lost you.

Your memorial service was such a beautiful evening of worship. Your daddy sang songs and even made us clap our hands to God. We watched videos of you smiling and getting your chest therapy and so many handsome pictures of you. Your smile and sweet cheeks will forever be in my memories. We will never forget you Josiah and the wonderful story God created in you. You may have been born with half a heart, but that precious little heart is the biggest most pure heart I have ever known. Your story brought us to so many people and friends and family and God has taken your heart and made it whole. Happy first birthday Josiah. We miss you dearly but have the faith and hope that we will see you again, perfect and no longer broken. Love you little cowboy.



Aunt Rae Rae

Your wonderful story: www.thewilsonheart.com

It has already been a week here in Siem Reap

We have been here one week and we have already been involved in many things. Our director Julie does an amazing job of giving us a variety of opportunities to minister and spend time with the people here. Since we have been here, I have slept a lot (the first 4 days at least from jet-leg), showered a lot, journaled a lot, blown my nose a lot, washed my hands a lot, sweat a lot and plenty more :)

But ministry wise, we jumped in our second full day here and presented VBS to the kids at the children's home and some of the locals Thursday through Saturday. There were probably about 50 or 60 kids there each day and it was really great. Our theme is FAITH, HOPE and LOVE with the theme verse of 1 John 4:19 "We love because he first loved us". We have spent a good amount of time at the children's home and will be there a lot our time here.

We have had some time to explore, ride in a Tuk Tuk, and we even bought our own bikes and locks for $38. My handle bars have already come loose and my rear tire is almost flat so it will be a good idea to have a bit a maintenance done with it. If you understood the traffic here, you may be afraid for our lives. But the only way I can describe it is a beautiful chaos. There is only one or 2 main intersections that have a light (the rest is each man for himself)and there is 30 seconds for adjacent traffic to go in any direction it seems. The beautiful part is that everyone really is aware and yields to everyone else... but it's crazy; people honk, ring bells, squeak horns and drive wherever, whenever. No tickets for j-walking here people.

Sunday morning we had a service at Common Grounds, PCL's coffee house with some of the Khmer staff and PCL staff and Corey gave the devotional and Sunday night we were back at the children's home for a youth service. The students led the service and Thorston (our German friend and his wife Doreen are here for 4 months) preached.

Monday morning 13 of us: Khmer, Americans, & Germans left for a 1.5 hour bus ride to a remote village called Conpong Cheong (something like that) to distribute water filters and explain the importance of clean water. PCL has built a small health facility there. These water filters should provide each family water for a year and we probably handed out over 100. It was a shock to observe the lifestyle in the remote villages. This really was the first time that I have ever been outside of a city, in the middle of nowhere seeing people live in rickety homes and huts, with a chief over their community, and doing farm and crop work by hand. Almost all the homes are built up for monsoon season. But most of the open land we saw will be water in about a month or so. I will have to elaborate on all of this more! I grew up on a farm, and it's really crazy to see farming still done like it was probably thousands of years ago! I mean, I know it is real, but this became real to me being able to see it in person.

We had VBS planned for this week but the road to Takam is being worked on so we cannot travel there. So, we decided to renovate the youth service room at the children's home so they can really have a new environment for their youth services. I think that this is a really huge task, but it will be an asset for the children's home and the local youth. There were probably about 40 students there on Sunday night. Today we scrubbed and bleached the walls and hopefully tomorrow we can begin priming and painting.

A few of our interns are also teaching English with PCL and a few of us will be working with some of the kids at the children's home one-on-one. I will be doing one-on-one tutoring because I am not confident teaching a class without curriculum. But, that is something that I should work on. Also, Matt - the director at the children's home has asked us to spend the evening there helping the students with their English and homework, leading devotions as well as putting the kids to bed. Matt is really excited that the 4 of us girls can be there because he is not able to "mother" the girls at the children's home... so we have the opportunity to take on that role. We will be tucking them in and praying with them at night and reminding them to brush their teeth. Good mothering skills.

Well, we are about to head to the children's home now. Oh, there's so many details I've missed. I was reminded today that God really knows what we need and does not focus on what we want. I believe that this experience is going to be way beyond what I imagined. I will be honest. I came here with a hardened heart. I felt closed off toward the people, the ministry, the opportunity... because this was not the place I personally wanted to be. I felt like it wasn't going to equip me the best way for the urban ministry that I am passionate about. But honestly, in just a week God has changed my heart - first I had to accept the fact that I closed myself off - and God is helping me to grasp that His plans far beyond I could ever imagine. I am grateful for His goodness and mercy - even in the times that I am unwilling to accept and furthermore, so undeserving.

Thank you all for your prayers.
I am so much in the process of being changed in so many ways.

Thank you skype - for you have made this easier for me and my man!! Miss you JM!

“We need Your Presence”

My team member Delilah sent me this video in an email over Easter break as we were very overwhelmed with school and preparing for this trip. I never watched the video until tonight and I found myself in tears in my longing for the presence of God and His direction and guidance for this trip. It’s just a few simple phrases but it truly is a beautiful song that I pray will be in my heart throughout this trip. Oh, how we need the Lord’s presence to sustain us, to guide us and to make us alive and find rest in him. How beautiful is the presence of God… whether we feel like we need it or we fail to recognize it, God desires to be present in our lives.

2 Chronicles 16:9a – “The eyes of the Lord search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him…”

Not only do we desire the presence of the Lord, but the Lord desires our presence and commitment to him. He wants to use us to do his work and he searches for those most willing so that he can do a mighty work in and through us. Lord, may I be willing and committed to you. Even when it’s hard, even when i’m thousands of miles from home, Lord your presence sustains and is alive in me and you will help me to grow and breathe new life each morning. I need your presence God, because without you I am lost, I am weary…

“As the deer pants for the water and the baby longs to be fed, So I am in need of, in need of your presence. I need your presence, we need your presence. Like water to our souls, we need your presence…

Something inside us is coming alive as we stand in the place where you are. Something inside us is coming alive as we see you for who you are.”

Psalm 40

Thank you Lord for your presence.

We made it to Siem Reap, Cambodia!

We made it safe and sound. It was definitely a long trip and I feel drained and weak and my stomach is unsettled, but I am so thankful that we made it. Apparently it is the hottest here in Siem Reap since like 1890. We got off the plane at 1030pm last night and as soon as we walked off the plane the humidity and heat hit like a ton of bricks. I think it was 90 but way humid. Thankfully we have AC in our guest house. I think we would melt if we didn’t!! So the 4 of us girls are staying in a guest house about an 8 minute walk from everything that we’ll be working at, but thankfully this morning we are getting picked up by one of the workers Matt.

It probably wasn’t until 2 or 3am that we finally went to bed and I slept till about 6am and stayed in bed till 640. Hopefully we will get caught up on sleep soon because right now I feel kind of like a zombie or just out of whack – guess that’s part of jet-leg. We were in the air for 22 hours I think. I got up Monday morning at 3am (went to bed at 1am) – we didn’t see the night on Monday night and went to bed at 3 this Wednesday morning… and it’s all kinda of just making me feel really yucky.

We are going to start our day today at 10am probably to have like an orientation and go over everything that we’re doing this summer. It will be nice to see everything because it was dark out when we got here. So it will all be cool to see today.

Well, thanks for your prayers! We arrived safely and we are ready to begin this journey!!

God Bless,

Rahel Marie

Today is the Day!

Wow, I cannot believe that today is actually here. This past semester has truly been the most difficult yet as we have been preparing continuously for this trip to Cambodia. There were times that I did not think I was going to make it through the semester, let alone pass… but I worked diligently and kept up with everything and was able to pull through with a 3.625 gpa for the semester. After this internship this summer, I have one semester left. I never thought I’d see that day coming either, but it is in the near future.

I feel very anxious and excited for this trip and I know that God has big plans for me as an individual, our team, the ministry of PCL and the people of Cambodia. We have worked very hard to prepare for all of this but most importantly it is our desire to seek after God’s heart for these people and for his wisdom and discernment as we embark on this mission. What is my mission? I want to build relationships and be a living example of Christ in the flesh in that my actions, words, and attitude speak so loud of Christ’s love that without even being able to speak the language, those that I encounter have an opportunity to truly encounter God and experience his amazing grace and love. I pray that I am daily growing, seeking, trusting, and encountering God so that everything that I am is overflowing and pouring out the one and only “I AM.” I love the title of Louis Giglio’s book: I am not, but I know I AM. I pray that while in Cambodia, everything that happens I will recognize I AM and give all the glory and honor to God.

I often struggle with being prideful (even if its not in my actions, mostly in my thoughts) and I pray that I will grow this summer in humility and a servant’s heart – please pray with me.

I will be stretched, confused, excited, overwhelmed, amazed, and so many other things this summer and I know that through everything, God is with me and I want to trust him through every experience and feeling I encounter.

Thank you again to everyone for your financial support and prayers. I pray that in this 10 weeks, you will also be challenged and encouraged and grow in Christ. I will do my best to keep you updated, for this will truly be an experience that will be with me for a lifetime.

It is time for a new stage of life to begin, I am ready now… my cup is empty and ready to be filled with what God wants to teach me through this experience and his people.

1 John 4:19